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What the Hell Did I Just Read

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What the Hell Did I Just Read

John Dies at the End

John Dies at the EndNOW A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE STOP. You should not have touched this book with your bare hands. NO, don’t put it down. It’s too late. They’re watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherworldly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this is was my fault.

The Fuller Memorandum (2010)

The Fuller Memorandum (2010)Bob Howard is an IT specialist and field agent for the Laundry, the branch of Her Majesty's secret service that deals with occult threats. Overworked and underpaid, Bob is used to his two jobs overflowing from a strict nine to five and, since his wife Mo has a very similar job description, he understands that work will sometimes follow her home, too. But when 'work' involves zombie assassins and minions of a mad god's cult, he realises things are spinning out of control. When a top-secret dossier goes missing and his boss Angleton is implicated, Bob must contend with suspiciously helpful Russian intelligence operatives and an unscrupulous apocalyptic cult before confronting the decades-old secret that lies at the heart of the Laundry: what is so important about the missing Fuller Memorandum? And why are all the people who know dying . . . ?

This Book Is Full of Spiders (2012)

This Book Is Full of Spiders (2012)Our heroes find that books and movies about zombies may have triggered a zombie apocalypse, despite a total world absence of zombies. Hilarious, terrifying, engaging and wrenching, this is a wild ride with two slackers from the midwest who really have better things to do with their time than prevent disaster.

The Jennifer Morgue (2006)

The Jennifer Morgue (2006)Bob Howard, geekish demonology hacker extraordinaire for "The Laundry," must stop ruthless billionaire Ellis Billington from unleashing an eldritch horror, codenamed "Jennifer Morgue," from the ocean's depths for the purpose of ruling the world...

Something from the Nightside (2003)

Something from the Nightside (2003)John Taylor is not a private detective per se, but he has a knack for finding lost things. That's why he's been hired to descend into the Nightside, an otherworldly realm in the center of London where fantasy and reality share renting space and the sun never shines.

Unnatural Acts (2012)

Unnatural Acts (2012)

The Running Man (1982)

The Running Man (1982)In the year 2025, the best men don't run for president, they run for their lives... Ben Richards is out of work and out of luck. His eighteen-month-old daughter is sick, and neither Ben nor his wife can afford to take her to a doctor. For a man from the poor side of town with no cash and no hope, there's only one thing to do: become a contestant on one of the Network's Games, shows where you can win more money than you've ever dreamed of—or die trying. Now Ben's going prime-time on the Network's highest-rated viewer participation show. And he's about to become a prey for the masses...

The Regulators (1996)

The Regulators (1996)The Regulators is a novel by American author Stephen King, writing under the pseudonym Richard Bachman. It was published in 1996 at the same time as its "mirror" novel, Desperation. The two novels represent parallel universes relative to one another, and most of the characters present in one novel's world also exist in the other novel's reality, albeit in different circumstances. Additionally, the hardcover first editions of each novel, if set side by side, make a complete painting, and on the back of each cover is also a peek at the opposite's cover.

Attack of the Fiend (2007)

Attack of the Fiend (2007)When witches steal Tom's inheritance and kidnap his relatives, Tom, the Spook, and Alice set out for Pendle Hill, a particularly dangerous district, in hopes of preventing the three witch clans from uniting to raise the Fiend, the Devil himself, thus bringing about an age of darkness.

Dreamcatcher (1993)

Dreamcatcher (1993)Dreamcatcher is a 2001 science fiction horror novel by American writer Stephen King, featuring elements of body horror, suspense and alien invasion.