Vampires in Chicago: A Subversive, Satirical Gothic Fantasy Action Thriller (2025)There's been some confusion about the vampires in Chicago. This book sets the record straight. Forget fangs, allergies, and arbitrary rules. In 2023, something older than myth awoke in the city, and the last four vampires there had to deal with it. Be careful what you pick up after dark, because it may not be pretty. You want the truth. But can you survive it? "Writer of books that are toxic to your mental health." "Not recommended for the mentally weak." "Pure agony from start to finish." "Scream, cry and laugh because once you start reading there's no putting it down." "From the twisted mind of Wynneth E. Cymry comes a dark tale of gothic proportions." "Blasphemous, sacrilegious and perverse, Ms Cymry will torture your mind the way she tortures her characters." "This book crushed my will to live."
The Haunted Forest Tour (2007)Welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour! Sit back and enjoy a smooth ride in air-conditioned comfort as your heavily armored tram takes you through nature’s most astonishing creation. The forest is packed to capacity with dangerous and terrifying creatures of all shapes, sizes, and hunger levels, and you’ll get to observe these wonders in complete safety. Howl with a werewolf! Gaze into the glowing eyes of a giant spider! Look right through a spooky ghost! See horrific monsters you couldn’t even imagine, only inches away from you! Things with fangs, things with claws, things with dripping red jaws—you’ll see them all! Not thrilling enough? Well, it’s Halloween, and so we’re offering a very special tour through the Haunted Forest. The new route goes deeper into the woods than any civilians have ventured before, and you’re guaranteed to get a good scare! Rest assured that every possible security precaution has been taken. The Haunted Forest Tour has a 100% safety record, and technical difficulties are unheard of. You will be in no danger whatsoever.
